Welcome to our weekly pop culture roundup! Let’s get into it:
Snow White & The Feminist Backlash
Rachel Zegler, star of the live-action adaptation of Snow White, got a collective groan from the internet when she explained that the titular character would be getting an *ahem* empowered 2023 update:
“The cartoon is extremely dated when it comes to women being in roles of power. And so when we came to reimagining the actual role…she’s not gonna be saved by the Prince.”
Personally, I don’t need Girlboss Snow White. I have damsel-in-distress fantasies that I need to live out through this movie and I don’t care for it to be interrupted by Snow telling some male chauvinist knight to “take several seats” or what have you.
I see what Disney is going for here, but they missed the mark by a few years. In 2016, people would have wanted Girlboss Snow White (not me personally, but like, Buzzfeed readers and such). Nowadays, however, the media has pivoted a new kind of feminism which seems to suggest that the greatest rebellion against the patriarchy is to be extremely stereotypically feminine (i.e. The Barbie Movie). If they really wanted us to take feminist Snow White seriously, they should have given her a blonde wig & had her running a TikTok page about being a stay at home girlfriend while embodying the divine feminine.
Luann & the New RHONY Cast
It’s time for the obligatory Bravo segment of this newsletter, and this time we’re highlighting the iconic Luann de Lesseps, who recently gave an interview praising the new cast of Real Housewives of New York, AKA the show that she helped build with her blood sweat & tears:
“I like them! I think they’re really hot. They’re fun, they’re sexy, they’re having a good time, and you can see that.”
CLASS. Instead of deriding the new cast (which is what Ramona would do…) she gives a nice, polite level of encouraging praise. People always get on Luann about the hypocrisy of her being so obsessed with “etiquette” while herself being a middle-aged woman who drinks like a fish & constantly dates 30 year olds (slay). However, what people fail to grasp is that Luann has great real life etiquette in terms of how she treats people. In contrast with Ramona, we don’t really see her showing up late, making fun of peoples’ houses, or pretending she’s too good for non-posh activities. While it’s unclear how capably Luann would carry herself in the first class cabin of the Titanic, she actually does have manners in how she treats people (except for maybe when she pled guilty to battery, but that’s another story for another day…).
Erika Jayne & the Miracle of Menopause
Like many of her Real Housewives peers, Erika Jayne (she’s on Beverly Hills — the worst person on the worst franchise…) has gotten TINY in the past year or so, just as a little drug known as Ozempic (Wegovy, Mounjaro etc.) has coincidentally entered the picture.
Anyways, Erika went on Andy Cohen’s show Watch What Happens Live, and when he asked about her weight loss (it sounds invasive but it’s just that kind of program lmao) she said that it was not Ozempic related, but rather a byproduct of her having gone through menopause. Ah yes, because we all know how nothing sheds the pounds like menopause. They obviously call it “The Change” because you’ll be “changing” from a size six to a size two. Like damn, just say you’re on Ozempic. It’s fine. OR say you’ve been keeping it tight in the gym/kitchen. OR just decline to comment on this sort of personal subject. Just not the liessss lmao
This is so par for the course for Erika. She has this style of lying where she likes to counter with some super specific example (“and then my son, he rolled his car five times on the way home…”) instead of just saying an obvious & believable lie — for example, she could just say she’s been watching her diet. Just had to get that out of my system. On to the next!
Lizzo
Well, well, well. How the tables turn. MUAAAHAHAHAHA — no I’m just kidding. I won’t get too into the summary because we all know, but three former dancers of Lizzo’s filed a lawsuit against her, with allegations including weight shaming, sexual harassment, and creating a hostile work environment.
I’ve noticed an ongoing trend in which these celebrities — the ones whose entire brand is about how amazing they are — are ultimately revealed to be the worst of all. Some examples:
Chrissy Teigen: remember how EVERYBODY used to love her because of her heinous relatable tweets? Now we know she was secretly telling Courtney Stodden to kill herself (😭).
Ellen Degeneres, the woman whose tagline was “be kind”? Abusive to staff.
James Corden, the adorable guy in all those kids’ movies? Screams at waiters in his free time.
Jonah Hill, internet meme darling? Psycho ex-boyfriend.
My point? Stop thinking celebrities are good people just because they have good PR. For example, I worship Taylor Swift, but I also understand that she’s kind of evil (for example, why did she release her entire catalog to Spotify the day that Katy Perry’s Witness came out? EVIL LMAO). These people are there to make money for corporations. Maybe I’m cynical, but I feel like every “brave” thing a celebrity uploads has already been tested by a focus group to make sure it won’t harm their brand.
Lizzo has retained the legal services of lawyer Marty Singer, who has also represented Bill Cosby, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, and Chris Brown. It’s basically a who’s who of good people in Hollywood😍
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Lizzo Part II: The Notes App Apology
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