Sophie & Joe
Or more accurately, Sophie VERSUS Joe — ohhh how things have gotten dark so quickly between these two. What started out as a semi-amicable divorce with maybe some passive aggressive mom-shaming coming from Joe Jonas’ side has devolved into a custody bloodbath, with words like ABDUCTION being thrown around.
So much has happened since we last checked in on these two that it took me a minute to get all caught up. From my non-expert standing, one of the biggest issues is where the kids will live: a few days ago, Sophie sued Joe, attesting that Joe had agreed to move their family to the UK. At the moment, a judge has ordered that the kids stay in NY, so you know, slay.
For her part, Sophie’s had the opportunity to put her side of he story out there as well. Where Joe basically called her an absentee mother who wants to go out all the time, she’s responded by painting him as controlling & jealous, which is fair I suppose. It’s just so crazy to think that they were perceived as a golden couple of so long — just goes to show you never know what goes on behind closed doors & all that. God, those two must DESPISE each other lmao.
I think I’m team Sophie? Tbh it’s all just so dark that I’m really team The Kids. Anyways…
Ariana Grande & Ethan Slater Paint The Town Red
And by “the town” I mean Disneyland, California. It somewhat boggles my mind that someone with Ariana’s means would choose to go to Disneyland, especially considering that she has no kids to entertain except the one year old baby that Ethan Slater abandoned. However, I have to remind myself that Ariana and Ethan were both theater kids as teenagers, so they’ll be inextricably drawn to Disneyland like a moth to a flame for the rest of their lives.
I don’t quite understand this whole situation. See, my impression was that Ariana had long ended things with Ethan and was doing this whole PR circuit (the Mac Miller album dedication, the crying for Vogue, etc.) to make people forget about that little tryst. However, it looks like they’re still together, so it looks like she was just buying goodwill. Ariana’s taste in men is really something else — imagine risking it all for Broadway SpongeBob😭. Is this how it’s going to be for the entirety of their relationship — they go out together and then she has to apologize for it with treacly PR stunts? I think that’s a fair punishment tbh.
Spain Coming For Shakira Yet Again
Spain keeps on attempting to make Shakira pay them and they fail to realize that nobody cares. She’s currently due to face trial for a case alleging that she failed to pay about $15 million in taxes while living in Spain from 2012-2014. On top of that, Spanish prosecutors have now hit her with a lawsuit saying she failed to pay $7 million in 2018. All I can say is LEAVE HER ALONE!
From what I gather (which is little), Shakira and her team argue that she didn’t properly live in Spain during these years. In response, Spanish legislators have proven that she spent at least 183 days in Spain during those years, so she is legally bound to pay those taxes. A major talking point of Shakira’s is how she put her career on hold to stay in Spain and raise her kids with her ex, so I imagine it’s frustrating to pay all these taxes to a country in which you never particularly cared to reside.
On one hand, I’m aware that the issue of extremely wealthy people evading taxes is a serious one. We’re all progressive-minded and want everyone to pay their fair share. On the other hand…maybe people who wrote Hips Don’t Lie don’t have to pay their taxes. Is there perhaps a sort of Scorned Woman clause in which people who were violently cheated on by their chauvinistic athlete spouse can withhold paying taxes for a certain number of years? Let’s go after the boring rich people, not the sexy, talented rich people, is what I’m saying.
Taylor & Travis
THE WAIT IS OVER! SHE HAS A MAN!! No I’m just kidding, obviously Taylor Swift is unfathomably successful and can stand on her own two feet regardless of her relationship status…but more importantly SHE HAS A MAN OMG!!!
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