The Idol Episode 5: Review
welcome to our review of some of the worst TV in history
They say to always see the good in the bad, so I guess I’m grateful I got a chance to watch this show because now I know what it means to set $75 million on fire. The bizarre season finale (strung together from two episodes since HBO decided to cut the show from 6 to 5) is lazy af. Every single unexpected turn of the show that is clearly intended as a revelation feels unearned instead. I am genuinely mystified as to how this was greenlit by literally anyone.
The episode began with an incomprehensible vibe shift, which separated it from every single other episode in the series. The entire new relationship dynamic between Jocelyn, Tedros, the producers, and culty singers felt ripped out of context as if in the space between episodes 4 and 5 all of the characters went through dramatic personality changes that nobody cared to explain to the audience.
What annoys me: The writers literally spent the first 4 episodes building out a world in which Jocelyn is falling deeper and deeper under Tedros’ spell. We had to reluctantly accept that through a series of sexual and emotional manipulations, Mr. Rattail somehow gained control over Jocelyn’s entire life. Fine, I accepted this idiotic premise. But wait! Turns out that Jocelyn is totally capable of just brushing (no pun intended…) Tedros aside.
I think we’re all grateful that Jocelyn has reached a point where she’s over Tedros’ antics, however, it would be gratifying if we could see exactly how that frame of mind came to be. I know in the last episode Jocelyn realized that Tedros had been colluding with Dyanne, but a seismic shift in the show’s dynamic merits more on-screen consideration than what we were given.
Also, Jocelyn being over Tedros doesn’t explain why she is also suddenly totally emotionally stable. The woman was a mess.
I will say I loved Leia being on cloud nine watching Jocelyn tear Tedros to pieces lmao. We know she’s been waiting for this moment.
I spent the entire series begging for there to be fewer sex scenes, only to find out that when there are no sex scenes, the dialogue is so appalling that you will find yourself missing the moaning.
(^^^ This is the worst use of a skinny cigarette in HISTORY. Also, I get that he is smoking Jocelyn’s cigarettes now because he is obsessed with her, is consumed by her etc., etc. The symbolism in the show is so incredibly heavy-handed).
Jocelyn’s song lyrics in her Tedros-approved song: “force me and choke me ‘til I pass out.” Empowering!
Insert lyrics about ‘numbing the pain’ here.
This show makes me never want to watch another show where one of the actors is also a writer or involved in production. When Tedros is cussing out Nikki, do you really have to have one of the background characters go “he’s got a point!”?
Chloe can wear clothes, it’s okay. We already have Jocelyn prancing around wearing a shoelace instead of a skirt half the damn time.
The reaction to the trio of Chloe, Izaak, and the third girl (I refuse to learn her name) had me wanting to get my ears checked because their producers’ insane level of praise was deeply disproportionate to how the performers actually sounded. You’d think Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and MJ had all taken the stage at once based on their reactions.
For example, Chloe is a decent singer, but Fink’s reaction (“MY GOD”) to her performance is so over the top. She’s FINE, I would def call her to go on if Halsey was unavailable or something.
Having them say that Izaak had “the soul of Prince” was similarly ridiculous.
One of the music executive characters said that Xander’s singing gave them “fucking chills,” and I’m just like…was it drafty in there or something? Because surely Troye Sivan’s autotuned vocals were not doing all that.
“If [Tedros] really found these people, he’s legitimately a genius…” please get The Weeknd out of the writers’ room ASAP:
Having Nikki kowtow to Tedros’ alleged genius was also not in line with her character – she was supposed to be the driest, most unemotional person on Jocelyn's team, so to see her begging to work with Tedros was odd at best and haunting at worst.
Okay…the Hunter Biden line was funny
THE SHOW IS SO LITERAL MY GOD:
Tedros: sex sells
One of the singers to Finkelstein: meet me upstairs
Why was the Weeknd perceived to be such a threat at all? Does he own the rights to Jocelyn’s songs? Did he dig a tunnel to the house? Does he actually need to be neutralized bc they could have just kicked him out and surrounded the house with security?????
I get that Jocelyn belittled Tedros so she could establish control over him, but it seems strange to imagine that you would continuously tell the love of your life to “shut the fuck up” and that “nobody is listening to you.” The Weeknd’s redemption act feels completely unearned as well. Does Jocelyn even know that he refused to take the hush money?
I wasn’t aware that proving to your music executives that you can handle a multi-city, multi-million dollar tour means spreading gyrating on said executive. I thought that the whole point is that Jocelyn was costing all the executives tons of money and they were TIRED.
I can’t believe we sat through Chaim’s ten-minute Red Riding Hood monologue just for the payoff to be “I AM THE HUNTER”
The show in general suffers from a terrible timing problem, which is what creates the sensation that you’re watching a student film project. Par example: We have no idea why Jocelyn is no longer having degrading sex with Tedros, but sure, let’s spend an entire minute watching a convoy of cars pulling up to the house.
The sound of the four of them wailing the “that’s my faaaamilyyyyyy” song at Jocelyn’s concert is going to send me to a lunatic asylum.
Not the dark garage meeting with a journalist PLEASE!
I understand that the finale’s ‘big moment’ is the ultimate twist that Jocelyn was in control of Tedros this entire time, but even that reveal is eye-roll-inducing: first of all, if she’s playing Tedros, what did she even gain? Three darkly sensual pop-R&B ditties? It’s annoying and it comes across as the show wanting to have credit for being self-aware about how much Tedros sucks but still wanting to push the narrative of Tedros as this deep artistic genius.
Also, why does Jocelyn even stay with Tedros in the end? I get that now their relationship is on her terms and she’s the boss, but like…why does she even want to be with him at all?